Funny Sayings About Luck
Funny Sayings About Luck
- The thing about luck is that it's like a fever. You can take fever meds and lie in bed and drink chicken broth and sleep seventeen hours in a row, but basically your fever will break when it wants to break. Cynthia Kadohata. Luck is not only having the best hand dealt to you but having someone to raise.
- Sep 03, 2019 Funny Lawyer Quotes “I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.” —Stephen Wright “The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.” —William Shakespeare King Henry VI Part 2.
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Discover and share Bad Luck Funny Quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Jul 10, 2017 Good Luck. Good luck to you as you move toward the next chapter life brings your way. Happiness are light as air. Love as deep as ocean. Friends as solid as diamonds and success as bright as gold. These are my wishes for you today and everyday. Here’s to hoping good luck continues to follow you for all the rest of your days my friend.
Let these funny Luck Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It was the nation and the racedwelling all round the globe
that had the lion's heart.
I had the luck to be calledupon to give the roar.
- Winston Churchill
I am a greatbeliever in luck
and I find that the harder
I work the more I have of it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Shallowmenbelieve in luck.
Strong men believe in cause and effect.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Luck is preparationmeetingopportunity.
- Seneca
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Quotes About Luck
The only good luck many great men ever had was
being born with the ability and determination to overcome bad luck.
- Channing Pollock
I find that the harder I work,
the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson
Not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Dalai Lama
Luck marches with those who give their very best.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Good night, and good luck.
- Edward R. Murrow
Remember that not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Nothing goes by luck in composition.
It allows of no tricks.
The best you can write will be the best you are.
- Henry David Thoreau
How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Friends love misery, in fact.
Sometimes, especially if we are too lucky
or too successful or too pretty,
our misery is the only thing that endears us to our friends.
- Erica Jong
A best friend is like a four leaf clover,
hard to find and lucky to have.
- Anonymous
For those men who, sooner or later, are lucky enough
to break away from the pack, the most intoxicating moment
comes when they cease being bodies in other men's command
and find that they control their own time,
when they learn their own voice and authority.
- Theodore H. White
I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2
I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov
A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous
Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson
Guilt for being rich,
and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn't enough
and you have to go and get shot or something.
- John Lennon
Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill
If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
- Mo Udall
Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In soloing - as in other activities -
it is far easier to start something
than it is to finish it.
- Amelia Earhart
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers
Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth -
look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity,
and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus
could be intended for enjoyment.
- Soren Kierkegaard
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford
Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Our faith gives us knowledge of something better.
- E. F. Schumacher
Move out of your comfort zone. You can only
grow if you are willing to feel awkward and
uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy
Fear of something is at the root of hate for others,
and hate within will eventually destroy the hater.
- George Washington Carver
Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves.
But deep down below the surface of the average conscience
a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- Carl Jung
Anything I can not transform
into something marvelous, I let go.
- Anais Nin
When one has nothing to lose, one becomes courageous.
We are timid only when
there is something we can still cling to.
- Carlos Castaneda
Don't live down to expectations.
Go out there and do something remarkable.
- Wendy Wasserstein
Happiness is not something ready made.
It comes from your own actions.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of,
he always declares that it's his duty.
- George Bernard Shaw
Our desires always disappoint us;
for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction,
yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation.
- Elbert Hubbard
You can't do anything about the length of your life,
but you can do something about its width and depth.
- Evan Esar
The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw
We disrespect ourselves and our free-will
whenever we say that we NEED to do something.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Shrinking away from death
is something unhealthy and abnormal -
which robs the second half of life of its purpose.
- Carl Jung
Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton
Abundance is not something we acquire.
It is something we tune into.
- Wayne Dyer
Destiny is not a matter of chance,
It is a matter of choice.
It is not something to be waited for,
But rather something to be achieved.
- William Jennings Bryan
There is joy in work.
There is no happiness except in the realization
that we have accomplished something.
- Henry Ford
For everything you have missed,
you have gained something else.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I get bored very easily, ...
I have a voracious appetite and I do not feel alive
if I'm repeating something I'm good at.
So I'm always looking for new challenges.
- Jewel
As soon as man does not take his existence for granted,
but beholds it as something
unfathomably mysterious, thought begins.
- Albert Schweitzer
When a person doesn't have gratitude,
something is missing in his or her humanity.
A person can almost be defined by
his or her attitude toward gratitude.
- Elie Wiesel
To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
We are just an advanced breed of monkeys
on a minor planet of a very average star.
But we can understand the Universe.
That makes us something very special.
- Stephen Hawking
In times of great stress or adversity,
it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy
into something positive.
- Lee Iacocca
We tend to forget that happiness doesn't
come as a result of getting something we don't have,
but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
- Frederick Koenig
Today, try something you have never tried before.
Perhaps just a food that is new to you -
perhaps a whole new way of living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you want something to be different than it is,
you might as well teach a cat to bark.
Wanting something to be different than it is, is hopeless.
- Byron Katie
It is one thing to say that something should be done,
but quite a different matter to do it.
- Aesop
We have to stop and be humble enough to understand
that there is something called mystery.
- Paulo Coelho
Worrying is like a rocking chair,
it gives you something to do,
but it gets you nowhere.
- Glenn Turner
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Funny Quotes
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.
They say the more you laugh, the longer you live. With that logic, these hilarious quotes can certainly add more hours to your life.
Laughter is often touted as the best medicine for good health and a sense of humor can get you through some tough spots. You don’t need a reason to laugh, yet most people find it hard to get any time to indulge in mirth and joy for even a few minutes in a day.
Here are some very funny quotes, by famous men and women, which will certainly bring a smile on your lips or a chuckle. Share with friends and loved ones or read these funny quotes to yourself for fun. Let’s start with the best of the best.
Most Hilarious Quotes
- My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg - A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
Steven Wright - It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
Jerry Seinfeld – You might like our “Happy Fesitvus” page. - If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.
Theodore Roosevelt - A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Steve Martin - Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them and have their shoes.
Jack Handey - Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln
Humorous Sayings
- A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor - I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
Joe E. Lewis - Half the people in Hollywood are dying to be discovered and the other half are afraid they will be.
Lionel Barrymore - I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
Robert Benchley - Of course, women don’t work as hard as men. They get it right the first time.
Unknown - I’m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let’s start with typewriters.
Frank Lloyd Wright - I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Oscar Wilde
Hilarious Quotes with Pictures
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
Oscar Wilde - He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor - All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.
Unknown - Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
Tommy Cooper - I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
David Rosam - You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
Franklin P. Jones - I was asked to name all the presidents. I thought they already had names.
Demitri Martin - You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen; it said ‘Parking Fine’.
Tommy Cooper
Funny Short Quotes
- Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Dave Barry - An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
Stephen Colbert - Beer is the reason I get out of bed every afternoon.
Unknown - I’m an idealist. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.
Carl Sandburg - If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side.
Stuart Turner - Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
Victor Hugo - The public will believe anything, so long as it is not founded on truth.
Dame Edith Sitwell
Witty and Amusing
- I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright - Some people just need a high-five in the face with a chair.
Unknown - I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention.
Ron Kittle - I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield - Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them as much.
Oscar Wilde - The truth will set you free, but first, it will piss you off.
Joe Klaas - Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
Mallory Hopkins
Humorous Quotations
- There’s an old saying about those who forget history. I don’t remember it, but it’s good.
Stephen Colbert - First, the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
Steve Martin - Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
Mark Twain - One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
George Carlin - I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.
James Holt McGavra - I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
Mitch Hedberg - Politics: ‘Poli’ a Latin word meaning ’many’; and ’tics ’ meaning ’bloodsucking creatures’.
Robin Williams
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Quote of the Day to Make you Laugh
- A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
Robert Frost - The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
H.V. Prochnow - Some people aren’t just missing the odd screw. The whole freakin’ toolbox is gone.
Unknown - I want to hang a map of the world in my house, and then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map, so it won’t fall down.
Mitch Hedberg - If the dead talk to you, you are a spiritualist; if God talks to you, you are a schizophrenic.
Thomas Szasz - True friends don’t judge each other. They judge people together.
Unknown - Marry the one who gives you the same feeling you get when you see food coming at a restaurant.
Unknown - I believe in the discipline of silence and could talk for hours about it.
George Bernard Shaw - Women spend their whole life to find the right man just to tell him every day that he is wrong.
Unknown
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Funny Facebook Quotes
Famous Quotes About Luck
- Honolulu – it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother.
Ken Dodd - Part of the $10 million I spent on gambling, part on booze, and part on women. The rest I spent foolishly.
George Raft - Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
Oscar Wilde - Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, electrons, and neutrons. They forget to mention morons.
Unknown - I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W.C. Fields - I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
David Lee Roth - Our family is just one tent away from a full-blown circus.
Unknown - The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Jon Hammond - I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx
Silly Quotes
- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Emo Philips - Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
Bill Murray - Just because I give you advice, it doesn’t mean I know more than you, it just means I’ve done more stupid shit.
Unknown - I have Alzheimer’s bulimia – first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke.
Cindy from Marzahn - You don’t have to be smart to laugh at farts but you have to be stupid not to.
Louis CK - I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
Chris Rock - My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn’t.
Unknown - I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food.
Will Ferell - Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
Unknown - I bet giraffes don’t even know what farts smell like.
Bill Murray
Tip: These hilarious quotes make great photo captions on Facebook.
Hilarious Quotes and Catch Phrases
- Marriage, the proof of the existence of cosmic humor!
Unknown - My level of maturity depends on who I’m with.
Unknown - Are you Google? Because you have everything I’m searching for.
Unknown - You can’t make everybody happy. You aren’t a jar of Nutella.
Unknown - You don’t know what you have until it’s gone. For example, toilet paper.
Unknown - Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Robin Williams - Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Don Marquis - You are going to be fine, you come from a strong line of lunatics.
Unknown - When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter.
Stephen Wright.
— Mike O’Halloran
Mike, an author, and editor of Greeting Card Poet believes that laughter is the best medicine.
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Funny Sayings About Luck